i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
