bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
false alarm, still single
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize