I need help removing her.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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