the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
