Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
