hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
