um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
