I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
