blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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