good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
