I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
