she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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