i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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