Having a random hookup so left but love u
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
