please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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