If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
