We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
