My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
