i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he shaved USA in his pubs
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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