Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
