Kiss
Puke
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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