Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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