a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
