its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
