Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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