Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
