I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
