Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
