it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
