Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
