we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
