How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
