she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
