Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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