The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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