You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Randomize
