how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
