In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
