Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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