nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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