before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize