When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
My breasts were aching with rage.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize