I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize