the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
