Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If that was your dad, he is hot
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
