How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
