got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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