Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
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