check it out our google latitudes are spooning
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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