Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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