you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
