You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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