I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
