I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Four minutes until I can fart!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize