ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
