im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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