Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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