I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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