She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
