We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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