dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
