Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
