u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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