I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize