Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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