I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
