either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
did you just send me my own nude
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize