no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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