OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
