nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
